The Real Work of Being Present

While cleaning my room and sorting my hair care products, I came across a small bag of cowrie shells I bought from the beauty supply store. My first instinct was to toss them. I thought, “These aren’t even real.” Then I laughed and said, “Well, let’s just go to Jamaica and get some real ones then.”

But I paused. That little moment reminded me: it's not always about what you have, it's how you use it. It’s about intention.

And that’s what sparked this deeper reflection. I’ve been saying I want to be intentional for years now. Intentional with my friendships, with myself, with my choices. But what does that mean? I think I finally figured it out: being intentional without being accountable is incomplete.

If I say I want to be intentional with my friendships, then that means holding space for my friends in the ways they ask of me. Not just when it’s easy or convenient. It’s about being present, listening actively, and showing up in ways that matter to them, not just how I think I should show up. If a friend says, “Hey, I’d love to hang out soon,” and makes the effort to invite me, then I want to be intentional about my response. Not a passive “we’ll see,” but a real check-in with myself: Can I show up for this person right now?

Intentionality with self is the same thing. Wanting to work out, eat better, and rest more, all of that requires accountability. Holding yourself to the vision you set, even when your energy doesn’t match your ideal.

I think a lot of people have good intentions, but life is full. It’s busy. And sometimes we miss the mark. We act from our initial emotional response instead of reflecting first. We cancel plans without explanation, or avoid hard conversations, not because we don’t care, but because we’re overwhelmed, or scared to disappoint. But that guilt adds up, and so does the distance between our intent and our impact.

What I’m realizing now is that being intentional isn’t just about setting the vibe or making a vision board. It’s about staying honest with ourselves and the people we love. When we say we want something, we have to create room for it. And when life checks us—because it will—we have to be willing to pause, breathe, and then return with clarity and care.

The truth is, life will always test your intentions. Accountability is the bridge between who you want to be and how you show up.